I’m getting that question a lot and for good reason- it’s
been a few months since I’ve updated the blog and several weeks since I last
posted anything on Facebook or Twitter. Rest assured there’s nothing tragically
wrong with me so no need to worry.
The first thing that happened is I got a job in early
September. I started The Dragon’s Vanity when I was unemployed and looking for
something to fill my time while I was waiting to hear back from potential
employers. Staying busy kept me sane. But once I got a job, it demanded more of
my time than I had realized.
I am the Counter Manager for both Clarins and Elizabeth
Arden at my local Younkers store. I had never used any products from either of
those brands before (I had never even heard of Clarins before). This is my
first retail job, my first sales job, the first time I’ve had someone working
under me, and my first cosmetics job. Needless to say, I had a LOT to learn in
a short amount of time.
Clarins sent me to Chicago for 2 days in October to learn
about their product line, and they had several online training courses to go
through to learn further. I had been hired on just after the last Elizabeth
Arden training class, so the Account Executive stopped by my store to give me
training on their products, gave me training material to review on my own, and
they also recently got some online training courses up and running.
I was studying and learning both brands on the fly while
also learning how to sell products in a retail setting and manage a part-timer
under me. I spent many nights doing ‘homework’ on the products and brands I was
responsible for selling. It’s been a lot but it’s also been very rewarding.
My skin care and makeup routines have changed now that I get
Gratis from the brands I sell. I don’t think I will talk much about work or the
products I use because I don’t want that conflict of interest here, suffice it
to say my Rosacea is happy and my skin looks great.
The other thing that’s taken some of my time is Major
Depressive Disorder and Anxiety. If you know anything about these illnesses,
you know they can be terribly debilitating. Even a crowbar can’t get me out of
bed some days. I spent most of 2010 in ‘The Danger Zone’ of this illness and
have been working with professionals to manage and control it.
After 3 years of coping with this, I can now manage and
control it without medication during the summer months. I use meditation and
self-talk techniques that were taught to me by my Psychiatrist and Therapist. I
also spend an hour each day in direct sunlight. I can’t put sunblock on for
these therapeutic sunning sessions because that prevents the UV rays from penetrating
the skin to produce natural Vitamin D, which is the whole point of this for me.
Since I’m a Ginger and burn very easily, I break my hour up into 10-20 minute
chunks. I also take a daily Multi-Vitamin
with 1,000 IUs of Vitamin D.
But from mid-November to mid-April, all of that just isn’t
enough (and it’s too damn cold to sit outside in a t-shirt for an hour). I need
medication to chemically balance me. It took almost a year for my Psychiatrist and
General Practice Doctors and I to find the right combination and dosage of
medications to restore the balance in my brain. Every person’s own chemistry is
different, and that’s why there are so many drugs on the market that work
differently to treat the same things. It
takes time to get it right.
The solution we finally found was a combination of Sertraline
(Zoloft), Buproprion (Wellbutrin), and Buspirone (Buspar) every day, and a low dosage
of Propranolol (Inderal) as needed. The
first 3 balance and maintain my mood, and the last one is literally my “Chill
Pill” for when I feel an Anxiety Attack coming on. It’s actually a blood
pressure medication, but when prescribed in low-doses as-needed for Anxiety it
prevents the heart from racing and therefore stops the panic before it gets out
of control.
In late-October I start easing myself onto the medications.
I take ½ the normal doses I am prescribed to get my system used to the effects.
Most of the Serotonin receptors are actually in the stomach. These medications
increase the activity in the stomach, thereby increasing acid production. If I
jump right in and take the full doses I’m supposed to, I get so much acid in my
gut in just a few hours that I have to throw it up. It literally feels like I’ve
swallowed battery acid. Not fun. So after the ‘transition’ period I step up to
the full doses. I do the same when I come off them in the spring- for the last
several weeks I take ½ the amount of medication before stopping altogether for
the warm, sunny months.
This year I started my transition a bit later than I should
have due to financial concerns. This week I finally stepped up to the full
doses of medication, but of course these things take time to build up in the
system. While I haven’t been back to ‘The Danger Zone’, I haven’t been
functioning in day-to-day life either. Luckily my manager understands the challenges
one faces when dealing with MDD and Anxiety, so she has been working with me
while I readjust for the season. I wish more people were that understanding.
All that to say I’ve been working, and lately, depressed. I decided to go in to all that just in case it can offer hope and help to anyone else out there battling this.
Anyway, I haven’t done much nail art, though I still do my own clear
acrylic nails and color block manis and pedis. I also do my mom’s clear gel
manicure every 2 weeks. I’m slowly looking in to possibly going to school for
my Nail Tech license, but finding funding for it has been challenging. I’ll
keep you posted if/when anything develops on that.
I have been working on a post on my new hair style and the
products and tools I use to maintain it, but I can’t guarantee when that will be up.
Thanks for sticking around. Regardless of what goes on in my life, The Dragon's Vanity will always be a part of it. I hope you all have a great
holiday season. {Hugs}