Monday, November 20, 2017

There's Something Funny About This Cheese...

The other night in our DND session, myself and another character learned a curious new spell: Animate Cheese. Looking to try it out and have some fun, we went to the nearest cheese shop. We made two 30lb wheels of sharp smoked cheddar Do-si-do to a little jig I played on my fife.
When the shopkeep reacted poorly we stopped the spell, bought the 60lbs of previously-animated cheese, and went to the inn for the evening. Rumor swiftly spread through the tiny farming community and by morning the whole town was convinced that Cheese Demons were running amok in their village, plotting their demise.
As a halfling bard, I'm always looking for something new and fun to add to my set. Below is Miora Bramblethorn's latest hit lute song and dance number (to the tune of Dancing Queen by ABBA):

You can dance, you can jive, lets all have the time of our lives
Fun and free, come join me, dance with the Dancing Cheese!
Sun is set and the lights are low
Looking out for a place to go
Where they play the right music, getting in the swing
You came here to see a new thing
Anybody can stand up here
Strum a song and bend your ear
But with a bit of magic, whimsy and fun
This is something you can’t miss
Folks, get ready for this...
Behold the Dancing Cheese! Not a dream- look, come and see
Dancing Cheese! Come get up and dance everybody
You can dance, you can jive, lets all have the time of our lives
Fun and free, come join me, dance with the Dancing Cheese!
Jumps and twists, does the flat foot floogie
Makes you hungry as it boogies
This cheese needs a partner, oh yes its true
Brie, colby, or cheddar, hey anyone will do
This is something you can’t miss
Are y'all ready for this?
Behold, the Dancing Cheese! Not a dream- look, come and see
Dancing Cheese! Come get up and dance everybody
You can dance, you can jive, lets all have the time of our lives
Fun and free, come join me, dance with the Dancing Cheese!